ITS STILL FUNNY

Illustration by Phuwadon Thongnoum from Bangkok Thailand.

NEWS FLASH,

Breaking information is revealing that watching people fall down still causes laughter. This is the definitive edition of Blanka ruining peoples day and in a few cases irrevocably ruining their lives. It's not a new video but that doesn't mean its not fabulous, and we don't throw that word around a lot. If you look a bit closer, a lot of work was put into this which makes us laugh all the louder. Some of those Blanka animations were created from scratch, and none of this would have worked unless the timing in the editing was surgical. For what its worth Evade Gismo gives this video the funniest seal of approval we can possibly muster...

GISMOS_06 - GOD DAMN PAL

Tristan, Kevin and old man Petie boy help themselves to a big bite out of the old conversation pie. We take a new and possibly improved format for a test spin. Pete compares Kevins mancave to Silent Hill 4 'The Room.' Kevin wonders if anyone saw the latest James Bond 'film' and does anybody really care? Impressions on Mr.Blows latest game 'The Witness' are also heard to have been remarked.  A gawd awful intermission song takes place....sadly and we talk about our questions for the week: What are your favorite and most memorable game mechanics? Which do you prefer the game character improving or improving as a user? and what does EA origin have to do to win you back as a consumer, assuming you were one to begin with. All this and so much more right here in the Gismos! 

We encourage you wonderful listeners to participate. It's much more fun that way. By any means you feel is necessary- write us, rate our podcast subscribe and ask questions, fuck make a statement just so we know your alive and paying attention. And again folks, thanks for using your precious time to hear us out, we know its the most valuable thing you can afford us.

THE D-FILES

Evade Gismo Supplemental files -01 - Audio documentation of stress testing the X- Files drinking game.

Myself and my lovely wife Camilla d'Errico began re watching the X-Files about a year and a half ago, even through the eyes of an adult the show has maintained its virtue. It was impossible not to notice  just how often Mulder and Scully say each others names (presumably because they sound really cool) but far more often than any show i've ever seen before, rivaled only by 'Rick and Morty.' We added in 'F.B.I.' and 'truth' to the drinking cues because were masochistic fools. Obviously this doesn't end well. Certainly do NOT attempt this game if you value your self respect. We attempted back to back episodes and...succeeded i suppose, although it didn't feel like it. 

What follows is a drunken downward spiral into the pitiless throws of intoxication which presented as a bit of an impromptu couples team building exercise. The 10 min clip begins about 15 min into the first episode of the newly aired season 10 and stammers on to the second episode in its entirety. Needless to say. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE EPISODES THEN 'FULL SPOILERS AHEAD.'

And don't listen to the haters out there. The show is just as it always has been: campy, dark and strangely captivating. Evade Gismo raises a glass to you Mulder (drink!) and Skully (drink!) welcome back!

The final tally:

Mulder: 23

Scully: 18

F.B.I. : 5

Truth: 6

THE VENT: NINTENDO NX 900P? EXCUSE ME?

The VENT is a special place. It will allow us to spew negative mental annotations off the record with no regard for any ones feelings. A huge portion of criticisms tend to be unconsciously edited; trading off a negative trait for a positive one. Here it's more of an unapologetic rant.  Sometimes ranting is good for the soul; issues you may have difficulty shedding can sometimes be shrugged to the floor with a proper vent. So that you may then focus and articulate your creative energy in a more constructive manner.

 What follows is a passionate gamers untamed perspective on some recent Nintendo NX news. Lets welcome Kevin McKenzie to the EG conversation!

 Buck up, stud.

Anyone following gaming blogs on the regular have heard this by now. For all you weekend warrior gamers with any mild curiosity; what I'm about to say shouldn't surprise you. That being said be advised and brace yourself: some speculative news about Nintendo NX has come to light, and to my complete lack of surprise, some of it is rubbing members of the video gaming world the wrong way. Much like the reaction you would expect by petting your cat from tail to head,  The Nintendo community is currently fidgety and wide-eyed with their claws out, quite uncertain as to what to do next.

 Perhaps a brief back story is in order; Nintendo has had a pretty lackluster couple of years financially. The Wii U is all but considered a failure, selling less than 12 million units worldwide since launching in 2012.  While perhaps this isn't a 'Virtual Boy' level travesty,  I cant imagine that Nintendo is passing out cigars every time the sales reports come in.  The 3ds, while certainly no slouch in sales figures, also failed to achieve the targets put in place by predecessors such as the Nintendo DS, GBA and the beloved original dot matrix wonder, the Game Boy. The current 'Nintendo Network' used for connecting players on both consoles draws the ire of gamers for not being user friendly or stable. Software releases for both systems have been few and far between, and with the exception of Super Mario Maker, the titles being released recently have not lived up to the level of quality that a longtime Nintendo fan would and should expect. With the future game release lineup looking as lean as a skinless chicken breast for both the Wii U and the 3ds, Nintendo is understandably starting to look towards the future.

But there's one big problem with that, we are still smack dab in the middle of the Wii U life cycle... aren't we?

Perhaps, as some have speculated, we are closer to the end of the Wii U's life cycle than most of us had hoped. It seems that Nintendo has sent out a survey with some information about their next generation console (codenamed NX) to a number of clients. One such client decided he was going to out the big N and post some delicate information contained in the survey on social media, which was then picked up by Geek.com and a number of game news outlets. This information should be taken with a spoonful of salt as all rumor should, at this time no actual official announcements have been made about the configuration or specs of the NX console.  However, there are a few very interesting details contained within.

                            Nintendo has been doing some flip-flopping as of late...

The leak states some obvious information: games like Mario, Zelda & the Donkey Kong franchises will continue to exist(!!!), but it also includes some juicy morsels of news for the internet to feast upon and regurgitate or digest as desired.  One of the major takeaways,  it would appear, is that they are sticking with a similar set up to the Wii U, as “gameplay flows between Nintendo NX console and Nintendo NX hand held device." Previously patent information had leaked suggesting this kind of streaming, but utilizing a newer,  fully portable hand held device extending the streaming range, perhaps over WIFI or 4g. Much like a JJ Abrams reboot, the news is somewhat expected, definitely intriguing,  but not all together earth shattering.

Then there is a section of the survey detailing 'what comes in the box'; contained within is a Nintendo NX console, Game controller, HDMI cable and sensor bar.  First it's interesting to note that the “NX handheld device” is presumably not included in the box, unless they are referring to it as the 'game controller' which is unlikely.  Perhaps we are looking at a segmented purchase for those consumers who wish to take their NX gaming on the go, and if that's so, that could be a big gamble for those of us who expect a complete experience from a new console without having to make additional purchases.  After all, this is a video game console, not an ever expanding set of Lego.   The other interesting part of this section of the survey, was the sensor bar being included in the box. Like waggle gaming? GOOD! Because there is so much more of it heading your way! This does stick out to me as a potential red herring however; why on gods green earth would they need to include a sensor bar with the console? Playstation 4 and Smart Tvs have been utilizing motion controls without the need for external sensor bars of any kind, and they work very well.  I am by no means against motion controls in gaming, but it concerns me that Nintendo may not be willing to take some of the technological leaps to improve user experience that have become common place with their competitors.

 Those who have been following Nintendo over the course of the last 10 years may see a trend, and even start to wonder if Nintendo is purposely under powering their consoles to make a profit off of the machine itself at launch time, rather than recouping minimal console profits through software and long term usage, as is the industry standard.  

On that note, enough of the appetizers, on to the main course of this leak: “Gameplay graphics at 900p / 60fps”. 

"Excuse me?..."

"Pardon?..."

I like 60 fps but what was that first part again?

 Ohhhh. 900p. I see.

While I do applaud the decision to enforce a 60fps frame rate on titles, giving the impression that the new box will not support full 1080p gaming could be the most telling thing about the whole show.  Are they perhaps under powering the console so that the portable unit will be able to play all the games while not connected to the base unit?  Or is it a case of “HD doesn't matter” as it was with the Wii? Could simply be a fundamental misunderstanding of just how many HD television sets are in households today? What do people in Japan use to watch all those wacky game shows????

Things were looking SO positive for nintendo just 5 short years ago.... whats Next?

Noticing a pattern here!?

What I speculatively take away from this is that Nintendo is putting out a system of equal or lesser power to its current competitors, 2 years into their life cycles. 2 YEARS!  This can even be seen as a downgrade from the Wii U, which offers game play in full 1080p.  How will this new console fare 3 years from now when its competitors are gearing up for their next generation? Will Nintendo be announcing the successor to the NX in 2019 because its not able to keep up with the competitors? Will Nintendo have to restructure into a software based company and abandon all of us who grew up on the NES much like Sega did in the early 2000's???? QUICK, LETS ALL PANIC!!! (Ok, deep breaths Kevin, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.)

Graphic capability isn't everything – but as we've all seen with Nintendos recent track record – powering your system appropriately ties in directly with the potential for console longevity.  There are many other questions to be answered, such as how they are going to get 3rd party developers interested in creating for their platforms again, what the price point will be, and does Nintendo have a legacy plan for those who purchased a Wii U to make up for the systems abnormally short life cycle?

The leak in full . The user cropped the picture as to not reveal any personal information.... Likely the doings of Gannondorf,  Wario or perhaps even the king of the koopas himself, lord Bowzer?? Ill shut up.

 We are just going to have to wait and see. There is one positive I take out of this; The console is likely not yet finalized as they are still asking for consumer opinion on it.  This is the perfect time to tell Nintendo exactly what you want- or don't want from their next generation of hardware. Tweet them, write them, post on Reddit, text Reggie or snapchat with Miyamoto san, do whatever you have to do and make sure your opinion is voiced.  If this project turns out to be a misstep, it could be their last.

Even the greatest visionary can require guidance.

I believe in you Nintendo. Just not at 900p.

 - Kevin McKenzie

SCREEN DUMPSTER: THE WASTELAND SKY OF MAD MAX WILL ASTOUND YOU

Unfortunately, the release of Mad Max by Warner Bros. on September 1st 2015 was utterly eclipsed by Hideo Kojimas incomplete MGS 5. "What fuck-wits were responsible for slating the release date for this game?" I caught myself muttering after picking up copies of both games the same day. Mad Max is by no means a terrible game at all, so which marketing muppet at Avalanche Studios felt it was a fantastic idea to directly compete with one of the biggest game franchises existing today?! I'm sure they no longer have a job now. Or maybe Warner Bros felt that the incredible hype from the film earlier in the summer would be a grand enough pedestal for the game to sit on top of- waving solid gold scepters indignantly at established IP.

I dipped my toes in the tepid and murky waters of Mad Max out of respect for the doomed release date before i sunk my teeth into MGS5 and ended up with some sort of food poisoning or stomach virus. So it had been a few months of neglect since i played it last and was anxious to give it some attention. It found its way back into the digital bowels of my PS4 and i have been absolutely enamored with one thing in particular.

Look at this fucking sky!

Point form review of the game below the screen caps.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on a summer's day, listening to the wind, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” 
― John Lubbock 

That goes doubly so for a simulated version of the horizon. I suppose the Devs felt that the barren wasteland needed something beautiful to contrast the hoplessness of a dystopia. But man did they ever outdo themselves. Every games sky from now on will be compared to this in my mind. Once you see something great its really hard to un-see it.

SO there i stood, which is something  i very seldom do in a game. Totally ignoring the mission prompts. Protesting the list of tasks before me to stare at this incredibly dynamic, show stopping sky Avalanche Studios has created. i left Max standing in one place and took screen caps every 5 min or so as i replied to emails over the course of about an hour and a half.

...and my view came to an extremely abrupt and violent end my friends.

Suddenly a 'mighty duster' tossed me like a cobb salad, to and fro. The car also landed onto of me.

I was attempting to not write a review of the game and simply show off some of the compelling eye candy it had to offer but i do have to share a few thoughts about the gameplay and the state of open world games lately. Point form i think would be appropriate here.

• The game ties in with the film quite well. keeping certain themes while creating a stand alone story which is where most movie based games go wrong. Its been a long time since a video game/ movie crossover impressed me as much as Mad Max did.
• There are War-boys and they do scream 'Valhalla' as they roll up on you. There are thundersticks and they are really fun to play with. Gas town is in the game as well.
• i never felt without in the game. There were too many resources littered throughout the game. i always had water, Dinkie-D dog food, and gazzoline so the mechanic of looting and pillaging fell a bit flat since the scarcity of essentials is the primary theme of the franchise.
• You'll do lots of driving and the cars feel awesome to handle. The customization and vehicle variety will keep you busy and hungry for upgrades. The trouble is the commerce system doesn't give you enough parts to upgrade much at all. You will find yourself a bit frustrated that you cant have the cool cars until you complete a lot of the mostly cookie-cutter side quests. 
• The first person view in the vehicle is my favorite part of driving. Shooting a War-boy off the hood of your car with the shotgun from a first person perspective...fergetaboutit! The engine is roaring away and the dust is kicking up everywhere, when you aim your shotty you can barely see the barrel in view but its there! 
• The major problem with open world games for me is the fetch questing. i know that's what most, if not all open world/ RPG games utilize and it would be very hard to subtract them entirely. But they all just feel the same to me and i've been loosing patience over the years, probably because they are the same. Fuck, our lives are a fetch quest so i understand the necessity. I would just like to see more variety and story behind the mundane tasks. That would require a lot more work but would hold any game that does this way higher and keep the audience captivated longer. Needles to say Mad Max suffers from this 'go fetch doggie' style. So i lost motivation to build my car collection because to get them you have to do the boring shit. Maybe have a few ways of approaching the commerce side of the game itself?
• The narrative is kinda forgettable. 
• The bosses in the strongholds throughout the wasteland are identical. Big dudes that look like Lord Humungus from 'The Road Warrior.' Pretty lame. Gives us no insentive as a gamer for variety.
• All that i was really looking for is for Avalanche to capture the feel of Mad Max and they did an outstanding job of that. So i would endorse spending about 15hrs with the thing. If you saw Mad Max last summer and loved it youll really enjoy yourself.