This very well could be the cleanest and most comprehensive dumpster you may ever lay your eyes on. As i deleted video after video of what seemed like pertinent gameplay at the time from the infinitesimal PS4 hard drive the other day i stumbled onto some real gems. I idly wondered what a digital dumpster could look like and who you might find rooting through old porn videos, embarrassing selfies or other boring not embarrassing things (which is what most internet trash probably is.) Suppose after you empty the recycling bin, little suspender wearing file clerk gremlins are sharing a laugh at our expense and creating their own personal little folders of our digital garbage with our name on it to blackmail us with later...I stare at the controller in my hands and reminisce.
Dear PS4 controller,
'Your curves fit perfectly in my sweaty hands baby. Your so responsive, sometimes i'll give you a little squeeze, which i guess is like a controller hug, just to let you know how much i care. We have a symbiotic relationship you and i, which doesn't necessarily mean we're a benefit to one another. But we need each other don't we? Since the summer of 1995 i've watched you've grow, evolve and yet you've managed to keep your figure. But what happened to your 'start' button!? Who took that away from you? And 'select' that's gone too, i'm sure you personally had nothing to do with that. But whats this? Two more buttons added in some very awkward places that sit flush with the frame so i can't...ever feel for them. 'Options?' I didn't even know i had any, sure it leaves more to the imagination than 'Start' and whats this? 'Share' Why thank you i'd love to share more with you. Wait, no. I don't want to share that now....fuck, my figity digits have betrayed me. Your a bit more confusing than you use to be but that's not your fault is it? Now i accidentally have like, 200 screen shots that mostly stank. Now i sit here, rooting through the trash. The very clean garbage searching for the pay dirt.'
Here lies screenshots.
Lastly here is a video i posted the other day, the 'Bloodborne' DLC: The Old Hunters. Its challenging as fuck, even for 'From Software' standards. I attempted this boss maybe 12 times before i called for aid. Even then i think i fought him 6 more times with help before we beat him. Its a New Game+ so your character carries over but the enemies do as well. Of course they do, thanks assholes. You can hear me at the beginning panicking in the form of blatant profanity. Then, strangely, my beckoning bell rang another player in during the Boss Battle. Which i don't even think is possible. I freak out again about 3/4 through; mashing triangle to heal. It was a bitch and i don't even feel like i cheated. He was that hard.