'ALRIGHT YOU PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS LISTEN UP'

  SPOILER ALERT. SPOILER ALERT. AWOOGA .THIS WILL RUIN THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET.

Ash vs Evil Dead could be the most flawless, badass show on tv right now. I'm only done the 3rd episode as of last night and had to jump online to write about it with all the enthusiasm of a rookie cop, or that UPS dude from Mad TV. I'm tripping over myself searching for convincing words for you and have no doubt at all that it's the best show of the year already. Yes it's presumptuous, brazen maybe even slightly audacious, but this show is so fucking good that its amazing that your reading this blurb instead of watching the show right now.

I'm reeling in a bloody pool of mixed nostalgia and disbelief- this show shouldn't exist. It's a miracle that it was ever made at all. Its out of its feature film habitat. 30 years later, a cult horror movie that was a student project of a young enthusiastic- very hands on filmmaker and a b grade lead actor. Well B+. It's like the Mad Max of TV. A project that by rights has no business existing but does, It not only exists, it flourishes.

So what the hell happened?! I mean a great show on tv is like finding a Leprechaun, I feel like I can't even breathe too hard or the show will blow over. It's a fragile and delicate thing that must be protected and studied. This is how fan service is done. Having something turn out so well and exceed all expectations is so very rare. Ash vs evil dead comes across so authentic.

The first thing an Evil Dead fan might notice is how Ash vs Evil Dead seems to totally disregard the last film in the series. At the end of Army of Darkness he's sent back in time to s-mart, fucks up the words again and fights more Demons that somehow caught up with him. In the pilot episode he just has the book already and drunkenly reads passages from it to impress a girl. That whatever attitude from the writers is exactly the spirit of what evil dead is. So ash has the book of the dead now and the fans are fine with that, if your an Evil Dead aficionado and you don't have a sense of humor then you must be dead already. If all the sequel ducks were in a row here then they would have to explain how he got the book back which would bring up the medieval timeline and kind of ruin the story, not to mention the budget.

Which brings me to the writing. "I hear a lot a yappini'n and not a lot a happeni'n'" or "The first thing i gotta do is see a guy about a book. The other first thing i gotta do...is some cardio, cuz my hearts jack hammeri'n like a quarterback on prom night." are probably my favorite phrases since 'Wu peed on my rug.' Its written with love and a blase' attitude that made the show perfect all those many years ago- creative, not very PC and the best one-liners around. My epiphany was realizing, I guess in episode 3, that  the audience has never really had the chance to explore the Necronomicon ex mortus by itself. All we've ever really seen is the same couple of pages over and over again. There's a whole show just in the book. In episode 3 we got a taste of whats possible. Summoning crazy boss daemons. It's like pans labyrinth had dirty demon sex with a hologram and its fucking badass!

"Ya know, you don't look anything like your picture!"

I also never realized what an idiot ash is. I mean yeah he forgot some words way back in the 90's. Now he's single, over weight,  lives in a trailer and is still a stock boy at not S-mart. He reads the pages again and  So he's got absolutely nothing to lose so the show has room to just not waste our time and get movi'n. But he's so oddly likable and sentimental and has a strange courageous charisma that only seems to reveal itself when the demon blood's flying. This character is so iconic that even the Millennials must know who Bruce Campbell is. 

The camera angles and the gore are exactly what I was hoping for. Writers and filmmakers these days are so concerned with being creative that they totally forget that the source material was perfect just the way it was. Just re-create that and shut up, stop thinking and simply re-purpose the old goofy shit! Garden hoses of monster blood is just fine with everyone, trust us Starz. Even the demons look the same, it's the exact right amount of nostalgia with a fresh episodic vigor that should support the show all by itself.

The Icing generously slathered onto the cake is that it's only episode 3 and the momentum seems to be in favor of a very promising and hilariously entertaining story. Let's hope they don't fuck it up.

Oh yeah ans Xena is on it. Remember the last time you saw those two together!? Damn shes hot, i think she was my first crush. I also remember the strange Lesbianish relationship she had with that red headed maid girl she was with all the time.