EXPLHORROR

a terrifying photograph taken  at god knows when from god knows where. Spoiler alert, the family died. Just kidding, well the family is likely dead now but not because of an upside down flailing shadowmonster...i think.

HAPPY HALLOWEEK Boils and Ghoulies! Our favorite time of year has arrived once again, if it hadn't then we'd be having a very different kind of conversation right now. Thankfully that's not the case and we can get on with our celebration of mental anguish. This week we will be exploring variety of horror themed topics mostly related to gaming, rather than one giant terrifying post we feel its best to slowly draw out the tension with scraps of viscera.

Today is all about watching vs participating.

Official Maniac soundtrack by Rob.  Please enjoy while you read.

Us gamers are a special kind of fucked up. There exists within us a strange desire to simulate fear and anyone who plays games has most likely played something scary on purpose. Mulling over the trailers, watching lets plays and chin scratching over which title has the best scare: cost ratio. It takes a certain kind of someone to actively seek out horror just for the thrill and excitement fear can bring us. Of course we are not in any real, tangible danger so we convince ourselves its safe. We all saw our share of horror on screen at a young tender age and assumed we were equipped to handle any slimy monster, or red painted-whatever came at us.....

Friday the 13th pt.7 the flying twinkie.

But watching vs participating is a very different thing. The first example of this was my personal experience with Resident Evil in the summer of 1996. I was 14 years old and was a big slasher horror fan, presumably like most boys my age. Thus far Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot, Zelda: a link to the past were a few examples of my early gaming career. At the time horror, for me, was having one life left before a game over. Watching Jason Voorhees dashing innocent campers against a tree was shocking, but i didn't loose any sleep over it. 

We spent all our allowance on renting the game for the weekend, bus tickets to get to Blockbuster video and slurpees with bags of candy to get us through the night. So our budget was stressed already and the guy at Blockbuster was really pushing us to get a memory card!? What the hell is a memory card? I can't save the game on the disk? We had a quick huddle about it and resolved that we would not require a Memory card. Mistake. We had inadvertently created a Roguelike and just amped the tension to 11 with that choice. Which in hindsight was a big moment in my obsession with horror.

When we booted the game up we had a good laugh. Even then, the intro was hilarious. But then we started playing the game. The slow loading screens were done so well that many of us gave up the controller before the next rooms door opened out of hopeless anticipation. The audio cues of slow footsteps would send us reeling. What pussies i thought, then i would play. Enter a room, and the now famous dog scene from the game really screwed me up. When the dog smashed through the window nobody in the room knew what to do, including myself. Normally someone in the room would have something to say, albeit not helpful or constructive, but something. This time, no. I popped off a few rounds at the carpet and ran away. A reasonable response. I was sweating, short of breath. My Heart was throbbing bad. I realized that i had just experienced that moment with my whole body and not just my mind. 

Watching lets plays is popular because your waiting for a reaction from the player with nothing really to invest in. All the best lets plays are from horror games. Watching someone freak out is, and always will be, fucking funny. If you were the one playing you probably would have reacted in a similar way which adds to the funny (flailing all about and screaming like a baby) But you will certainly never forget it. 

When you play the role of the character everything changes. Your invested --- spending time and money on something you expect to stimulate some sort of emotion. We expect this now because, usually, the games deliver and treat us to something special. In a film nothing is at stake. Awful things happen to innocent people. Killer lives or dies. THE END. You might remember an especially brutal kill or the sexy lead character, maybe the killers mask. For me, i remember much more about a gaming experience because, if done well, iv'e tricked my mind to believe that i was there. Rarely do i ever feel like the character i`m playing. Mostly i put myself into the shoes of the protagonist. Much more frightening that way. Occasionally i find myself recalling a certain memory of myself reading a morbid letter with faint scratching sounds coming from the wall beside me in a dark, smokey room and distinctly remember feeling nervous. Turns out it was a sequence from Metro; 2033. Has that ever happened to you?

Fear is a fascinating and powerful thing. Its a visceral emotion with the potential to overcome ones entire life if not tended to properly. It must be constantly analyzed, assessed and controlled in order to be an effective measuring device of outside threats. Some believe it to be an exaggerated leftover self preservation response from our primeval days hiding from predators. Still effective today and absolutely necessary for our survival. Something i feel we can all agree on is that we have felt it in at least one of its many forms, routinely.

Tomorrow is the efficacy of atmosphere and sound in Horror games. Tune in kiddies and happy HALLOWEEK.

CONFESSIONS OF A TERRIBLE GAMER

Guest post by Rob Fernuk...definitely not Tristan Mowat!


I have to be completely honest - I am a terrible gamer. So why would this fledgeling gaming blog let me write an article for them? Because I suspect there are lot of you, like me, out there.

I grew up a child of the 80s. My first console was a Nintendo, but I also played Atari games at a friend’s house. A neighbour who must have been into computers let us play some of the earliest computer games in his bungalow. I remember him as an Asian man with an impressive beer belly who wore stained wife-beaters and always looked like he just woke up. He paid me to mow his lawn once a week, after which I experienced Pong and Space Invaders while they were still pretty new. Asteroids and Tetris might have been in the mix too, but my memories are fuzzy on the details now - which games were on which gear and when, I no longer know.

But Mario, he was my dude. I had a birthday party at a roller-skating rink and the theme was all Mario Bros. The air-brushed supermarket cake had a rubber model of Mario shooting a fireball from his hand. I probably still have that stashed away in a box of childhood trinkets somewhere. I knew that game inside and out. I remember finally successfully performing the trick where you jump on the turtle shell on the stairs up to a castle end-zone so many times that the game starts giving you extra lives for each jump. I jumped until the timer ran out, the life counter passed 99 and became just symbols. The week following I refused to turn off the Nintendo until all those lives were eventually used up, though my parents were bothered that the red light was always lit and complained that I would “ruin the machine”. Those were the days.

Did every kid know this trick?

When I was 13 or 14 my parents bought our first family PC and I got into Adventure games during the heyday of Full Motion Video. Myst, 7th Guest, Gabriel Knight, Tex Murphy, Phantasmagoria… As a young teen I was able to disappear into completely new worlds and walk around in them, even if it was just a CG rendered slide show. Sierra, Broderbund, Cyan, Trilobyte; all names that held magic to me for they were the builders of these worlds. I knew the names of Jane Jensen and Roberta Williams, female pioneers of digital storytelling.

I played these games. I completed these games. Usually there were no walkthroughs to be had until Prima Publishing started putting out books you could buy - and I did. Perhaps that was the beginning of becoming a terrible gamer.

Gabriel Knight - Sins of the Fathers

There were early signs that I was really not that talented at playing games. I couldn’t get through a few levels of Rebel Assault without exploding on the canyon walls over and over again. I did eventually see the level where you perform fly-bys on Star Destroyers while shooting at them, but I never could pass it. Rumour had it that in later levels you could fly across Hoth and shoot at ATAT Walkers, but I never saw that for myself.

Secret revealed!

Eventually I got into MMOs with a friend, and finally the other shoe dropped.

For me, it started with WoW, but eventually I got into Guild Wars 2, SWTOR, and The Secret World, and I dipped my toes into others like Wildstar, Elder Scrolls Online, FFXIV, and Tera. I loved them. They were everything I wanted to play in a game. New worlds. Flexible playing styles. Huge open maps. Seemingly unlimited potential… Until a random player from an opposing faction came along and gutted me like a fish. Well then. Clearly I was on the wrong server. Live and learn. But it was more than that - I struggled in these games mightily, and not in a way that excited me. I always felt behind the level curve, under-powered and over-matched. In some cases I could barely proceed without my friend practically carrying my useless carcass through to the end of a story instance. It was just a frustrating experience for everyone.

Part of my problem is that I hate to grind. As an adult (shudder) I now have a professional job. One that I am dedicated to. I pay rent and taxes. I work to live - as much as I am loathe to admit it. Who has time to GRIND??? Well apparently lots of people do, but not me. If I’m playing a game and progressing through its quest chains and geography, I have some expectation that my level will increase in sufficient time to reach the next area with appropriate power to kill the next tier of enemy. This is rarely the case. Game designers seem hell bent on keeping players behind the curve so they have to do extra killing or crafting or other menial tasks just to boost their level to reach the next area. If you don’t you’ll get your ass kicked. I got my ass kicked a lot.

Can we talk horror games? I love horror. It’s quite possibly my favourite genre in film and literature. For me, the best parts about the horror genre are atmosphere and world building. I love a decrepit, derelict building like none other. I love the sounds of horror, the look of horror, and as we get ever nearer my favourite season of Autumn, I love the smells of horror. Turns out what I don’t like are jump scares, and that seems to be what the horror genre in games has in spades. I simply can’t do it. For example I want to love Five Nights at Freddy’s. I love the idea of it, certainly. I love the look of it and the design of the creepy animatronic robots. I love the lore - which I’m happy to watch endless YouTube videos about (shout out to The Game Theorists’ excellent series which you can find on their channel, here: https://www.youtube.com/user/MatthewPatrick13). But I don’t think I’ve played more than two hours of the first game so far, because I just can’t deal with the jump-scares. Even when they are earned, they feel cheap. But worse is that they work on me. Yes, I jumped, you nearly gave me a heart attack by blasting loud sound and having something leap towards the screen.  Good job, you win, I’m out.
 

BOO...again.

As I grow older my fingers will never be coordinated or dexterous enough to win at a MOBA, or score enough kills in a competitive shooter. A million teabaggings will forever be performed over my digital corpse by children who have fucked my mother.  Sorry mom.

Do you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m okay with all of this. Gaming may be slowly getting too hard for me, or perhaps I never really had the chops to begin with.  Perhaps reading Prima strategy guides spoiled my patience to slowly work through a game, or life has taken my time and will to do so. But the one thing you cannot take away from me is my love of games. If you’ve gotten anything out of reading my recollections above, I hope you noticed that my fondness for games is still ever present. My trigger timing will slow. My aim will get worse. And I’ll still always hate to grind. But I’m still a gamer, dammit, and I have some more games I need to play.

By Rob Fernuk