STREAM ALERT: RACECARS AND SOCCERBALL INCOMING

The unprecedented mega-fun Rocket League has made its way into my Steam library and I plan on breaking it in with you guys over on the Twitch stream -- 8pm PST tonight! Never liked sports games. Never liked racing games. yet somehow combined, there is an emergent vector of raw goodness.

Check out the recorded stream of The Beginner's Guide from a bit earlier this week if you haven't heard of the game already. It's a unique experience. You can also listen for the sound of a single tear falling from my cheek during the SURPRISE TWIST near the end of the film-length stream.

E-FIX NAILS IT: FALLOUT 4 PREDICTIONS REVISITED

Before this article gets moving i'd just like to preface it with something. Blogging is hard, a feature article at +1000 words with links to references and great images with an intriguing well researched idea takes lots of time; on average probably about 4 or 5 hours. It's also not enough just to be accurate, it needs to be funny, engaging. This isn't our job it's our hobby. Typically it's a one man show. We don't boast 15 posts a day, more like 15 posts a month if were lucky.

Enter Nick, who runs another blog from the East cost of the good ole USA. We thought cross posting each others material would benefit us both by increasing content and reducing some of the 'invented' stress we create for ourselves. So welcome to the fam. I'd call you a sister blog but you might get insulted. 

One of my favorite articles of his was this post from over a year ago. He predicted some spot on shit here. I've added the follow-through of his predictions below each image. There's a hyperlink attached to his name below to his Blog. Enjoy.

NOVEMBER 5, 2014 NICK DEMARCO

Starting way back since 2012, there have been numerous rumors, as well as some clever internet memes, surrounding the next Fallout, Bethesda’s post-apocalyptic RPG.  A midst all of the rumors, one common word seems to keep popping up; Boston.  It’s been pretty safe to say that the next Fallout game will be taking place in Boston, however it still hasn’t been confirmed.

However, it seems that there might be another piece of evidence that makes Boston seem like a lock.  Today, there was a trademark application filed for the brand “Fallout: Shadow of Boston” in Germany.  The application marks the trademark as “computer game discs” and “Downloadable Computer Game Programs”, which makes it seem like this might be the new name for the next Fallout.  It is seen that Bethesda Softworks LLC of Rockville, MD is the owner of the new trademark.

Up to this point, there has been little to no information about the game.  Bethesda has not talked about it, but they have mentioned that there will be one coming in the future.  This trademark sighting might just be the final nail in the coffin that will get them to announce the game officially though.

With that being said, let me just assume that Boston will be the next location for the famed Fallout franchise.  This is a great pick in my opinion, given the rich history of the city, as well as the surrounding landmarks and locations.  There is a lot that Bethesda could work with, and this gets me excited for what is to come.  So, what are some places that I would want to see in the next Fallout game, assuming that it takes place in Boston?

Well…

1. Fenway Park

Now this is probably one of the more iconic, and by far the oldest, baseball park in the U.S.  It is home to the Boston Red Sox, and there is a rich tradition that surrounds the park.  There is also the big Green Monster that takes over left field.  Now, who wouldn’t want to see this place in a post-apocalyptic atmosphere?  Yeah, it might be a little sad and depressing, but I am sure that I would get over it.  I could picture the park as a stronghold taken over by an enemy faction.  It would probably stand as a good “home-base” for any faction in particular.

He wont say i told you so but.....he fucking told you so! 'Sad'- check. 'Depressing'- definitely, but we got over that.'Home-base' - well the house that can be purchased in Daimond city is called 'home plate' so Nick, well give you that one! It was certainly taken over but not by enemies...although i pity the fools who get caught stealing here. They will run you out of town 

Im no baseball expert. But i believe this was the 'big green monster' that nick was talking about. Oddly enough there is a mission to retrieve green paint for this guy to restore the wall. 

2. Back Bay, Boston

This is the site of the affluent.  This area is a neighborhood of Boston and it is known for it’s Victorian brownstone homes.  The area looks really nice at night, especially next to the Charles River.  I would love to walk through these streets in the aftermath of a nuclear fallout.  Speaking of the Charles River…

Looks like the water receded a bit or i captured this at the wrong angle. One things for sure, Nuclear war shure sucks the colour out of the world. But its pretty damn accurate.

3. Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge

Assuming that the Charles River would be in the game, it would be safe to assume the magnificent Memorial Bridge would be crossing it, however, it would be a rundown version of the bridge.  I picture an Arefu situation (the small settlement located on a bridge over water) from Fallout 3.  There would probably be a small group of individuals taking advantage of the bridge.

Nailed this prediction too! Completely run down. I got jumped by some super mutants holed up in th station to the right. Newsflash; they died.

4. Old State House

This quaint looking building, now a museum, was the site of the Boston Massacre.  The building may not look all that interesting, besides that fact that it is from the Revolutionary Era, but there is a large chunk of history that surrounds the building.  It would be a surprise if this building survived a fallout, but perhaps it’s ruins could make it into the game?

Oh it survived. Found my bro Hancock inside. The settlers built a city around the historic site called 'goodneighbour' 

5. Harvard

One of the most highly recognized colleges in the U.S., known for it’s academic excellence, as well as it’s beauty.  Now, picture it in apocalypse mode.  Imagine walking through the buildings, peering into the classrooms, walking it’s grounds.  There would be a creepiness factor to the area, but it would be cool to walk through.

This was the closest i could get to the real thing. The campus is there and Harvard square comes up early in the game. There was an administrative building around the corner but this particular building is inaccessible.

6. John Hancock Tower

Here we have the tallest building in Boston.  It’s a modern marvel of engineering as it shoots up into the skyline of Boston.  However, given that it was finished in 1976, it may not appear in a Fallout game, considering that the fallout happened in the 50’s.  Still, if the team behind the game decides to take the series into the future a little bit, I would love to see what a hulking tower would look like in a game like this and what purpose it would serve.

Hancock tower is now an unrecognizable pillar that somehow survived the explosion. The only reason i thought this was Hancock tower was from pictures of the Trinity church right next to it. Got two birds stoned at once right here.

7. Logan Airport

Two airports, both Searchlight and Camp McCarran, appeared in Fallout New Vegas and their was only a brief mention of the Washington D.C. airport in Fallout 3, which was near Megaton.  So, naturally you would think there would be an airport in the next Fallout.  Logan Airport would fit the bill pretty nicely.  It’s a pretty spacious airport that could serve as a pretty nice camp.  Even if Logan Airport is not featured in the game, you can probably assume that there would be an airport of some kind.

This was the best shot i could get from the Brotherhood blimp. Almost unrecognizable, but its there!

8. MBTA and South Station

Subway stations seem to be a common staple in the Fallout games.  In Boston, the MBTA is the transportation authority that connects the city from below.  It would once again, act as a fast travel location to get around the world.  Boston’s South Station would probably be the hub station that connects them all together.  There were also elevated tracks back in the day, so perhaps those could be scattered around the world as well?

Nick almost nailed them all. But the South station was no where to be found. Guess something had to bite the dust. This shot was from what i could decipher by correlating an actual map of boston to the in game map. strangely it looks a lot like this

odd resemblance to ground zero

9. The Bar from Cheers?

Now this definitely will not appear in the next Fallout game, but it sure would be neat, huh?  The famous bar is the location and backdrop for the classic TV show Cheers.  There is definitely a lot of history that surrounds the bar, including a lot of famous people who have visited.  Maybe the bar won’t be called Cheers, but there could be a unique bar in the game?  Probably shouldn’t get my hopes up…

The bar is called 'Prost' which is German for Cheers. This might be one of my favorite easter eggs of all time.  You should have gotten your hopes up Nick...all the hopes! Your on fire here

The layout inside is quite accurate

Even Sams back office is very close to the real thing, boxes everywhere. It doesn't say Boston Redsocks but there is a catchers mitt. The filing cabinet is even there. 

Even Cliff and Norm are assuming their positions at the bar...amazing Bethesda, nerdy but amazing.

10. The Freedom Trail

Last, but definitely not least is the Freedom Trail.  The Freedom Trail is a 2.5 mile journey through the city that visits some of its most iconic and historic locations that have to do with the Revolutionary War.  Now, this is probably not the most exciting thing to have in a game, but it could serve as a cool little side quest for the players.  If they “check-in” at all sixteen spots on the trail, they could get an achievement or a trophy, almost like the “City Hot spots” feature in Watch Dogs.

The freedom trail IS in the game. In fact its a pretty huge part of the game. The quest begins here in the Square, and you do follow the trail, although worn and broken, still functions and many of the monuments are still there. No achievements to speak of but hell, ill give him the point.

There are probably a ton of locations that will appear in the game that I haven’t even thought of, but I am sure they will all be great to discover.  One of my favorite parts about the Fallout games is the atmosphere and a empowering sense of discovery that comes with it.

I look forward to more news about “Fallout: Shadow of Boston” and what the story will be like.  I also really hope that the location is Boston, because if that is not the case, then the whole second half of the article is irrelevant.  Lets all hope that doesn’t happen.

Nick Demarco Nov.5.2014

By E-Fix

GISMOS EP-0

FUCKING FINALLY!!! The hard parts over, our podcast is up on iTunes and you can get it here. What an enormous pain in the ass it was getting it up and running. Now i understand those podcasts about podcasting. The technicalities of the software and marrying it all together made me feel like a disabled 5 year old attempting to assemble Ikea furniture, the word of note here being 'attempting.' A humbling and enlightening experience. But its done now so we can move on with our lives and concentrate on interesting stuff to deliberate.

Were calling this episode 0 in order to absolve ourselves of any responsibility. Now that we know whats - what we can start creating reasonably entertaining content and maybe get a second mic so we sound like we know what were talking about. We feel we can get the point across in shorter, more digestible pieces thus the 46 min run time so keeping it under an hour will be our goal. Unless you like listening to people talk about what they ate for lunch or why they called their cat marbles or whatever the hell people carry on about in a 3 1/2 hr podcast. Who has time for that?

A WINNER IS CHOSEN - BALANCE HAS BEEN RESTORED TO THE FORCE

Well, this is it friends, time for the big Draw. 35 new subscribers to speak of over the past month or so and were pleased as porcupines to have a growing audience of the highest quality. A modest number, but well take it over a punch in the dick any old day. We know your time is precious so, once again, we thank you all for your time and interest in what we have to offer. 

And now the winner...

This is where the magic happens. I know your all wondering where and how this genius content gets made. But wait whats this?

Hrm...i couldn't resist an old timey draw out of a hat. Haven't washed it in years so the hair grease really helped lube up the tickets.

I scrambled them for a good minute just to be sure.

Oh great equalizer thy name is chance. You can be a fickle bitch sometimes. But not for this one. Not today. drum roll please.....i said DRUM ROLL PLEASE. 

The big winner is DEACONBLUELE!

Etherial Albino Weasel Ghost commends your luck. 

Deaconbluele you win! good for you. Your going to Star Wars: The Force Awakens  at Silvercity Riverport in Richmond next Thursday for the 10:45pm showing. The seats are assigned so you can walk right into the place like a boss! We will be contacting you by email to send you the tickets. Well, thats it i guess....now i feel a bit empty inside. We'll have to create another contest in the new year but in the mean time thanks for playing and we hope this movie doesn't suck. All i'm hoping for is for it to be better than the last 3 but worse than the original trilogy. 

THE MEANING OF LIFE (AND LEVELS)

I was watching Tristan play the new Bloodborne DLC last night and was reminded of something that really impressed me about Dark Souls when I played it a year or so ago. His character is at full-swing by this point; I'm not sure of his hourly commitment but his toon had a wicked raven-feathered cloak and a man-sized runic claymore strapped to his back. Lots of levels and equipment. He wanted to show me this epic boss, the gigantic, gangly, smoldering First Vicar, Laurence. But on the way up the stairs to the bossroom, he had to scrap with this fat demon guarding the door. Tristan was explaining something to me as he played, got distracted for a moment, and this minor enemy promptly killed him in two or three blows. Tristan's character is like, raidboss level, and he still drops dead after one slipup. That's because Bloodborne and Dark Souls have this refreshingly sadistic take on how Hit Points ought to work in an action RPG -- no matter your equipment and levels, your health is still a rare and precious resource. No amount of grinding or farming will immortalize you against a few hits from a Level 1 Wandering Bald Man. This is a rare feature, but I think it's much, much better than what we're used to in RPGs.

Even a pig can defeat a Wandering Bald Man. Gif via Tumblr. From Adventure Time.

Brace yourself. There’s a bit of a build-up to my point, here.

No matter what task a game sets you, a lot of the time, you’re also set with the task of trying not to die while you do it. The complexity of puzzles and battles wouldn’t be a problem in a lot of cases if death was not a potential outcome. Without death, there's no tension: You could just stand there and take gunshot after gunshot in the back of the brain as you calmly picked the lock or whatever. Dying in the game translates to kind of player-death too; the player's flow of experience and permission to play is briefly interrupted.  So game designers’ve gotta measure out that incentive -- by giving you life. Life is this resource that comes between getting to play, and not getting to play anymore, not getting to maintain continuity. That is the main motivator to play well in many (most?) videogames -- to not be sitting idly between lives.

In primal forms of gaming, life is binary -- either you have it, or you don't. In Mario, one hit will kill you, unless you’re big. Being big equates +1 life in a way - just not one you hold in reserve, like a proper 1Up. But as gaming history has progressed, the life force concept has extrapolated. As a quantity, Life itself has been dragged out. Usually it’s a two- to four-digit number now, somewhere in the code, getting incrementally chipped away at by various hazards. The play experience doesn’t change as life total fluctuates - it’s like an awkward, irregular timer, counting down your remaining permission to live. You’re still fully alive, even at 1/100 life points. Most of the time the only difference between that and being at 99/100 life is a red wash over your perspective, or a hobbled walk animation. Tension is artificially created as the player approaches one slip-up from dying, kind of a slow-wave tension that accumulates as your healthbar declines.

A primer on slowly dying. From Doom.

This is like… this shit is your soul. You can suffer dragonbreath and liquid nitrogen and suppressive fire as long as this meter is non-empty. it’s the ghost in the machine, the umbilical cord between the tangible game-experience and the heavy-breathing gamer. For you the player, Life represents the arcade era's final precious quarter, the license to game.

So how do you get more of it? I mean, yeah, a game moves along and your character amasses life experience, they’re gonna get better at stuff. The only path to mastery in reality is through gaining new experiences and learning from mistakes. Swinging a +2 Bastard Bloodsword once might not make you any better at swinging it; but swinging at 100 times at different body parts of various creatures will probably qualify you to use the weapon more effectively (kudos to Skyrim for using a level-up system that actually depends on using the relevant skill). Or if you accumulate 200km mileage of jogging back and forth across a low-gravity space station, you’ll probably be able to run more steadily and quickly.

But how - HOW?? - does taking a bullet in the stomach make you better at doing that? To generalize, how does a video-game character “gain health”? Does their hide thicken? They have more blood somehow? Or like… weird tumours all over the place which absorb damage? I mean, sure, characters get better at dodging and blunting attacks, but that usually translates into a dodge skill or armour stat. We’ve been over why a healthpool certainly isn’t mere pain tolerance, because when it runs out, you die. No amount of experience-won pain tolerance is going to make a twin-kidney katana Delta-strike cause any less... death. It is something I’ve wondered about since I first played Dungeons & Dragons in the eighth grade. You can make up a story about how literally every other element of leveling up works out in an RPG; XP represents hard won respect from the elder wizards in town, who bestow you with new arcane spell knowledge, or with time, your bond with your steed improves and it is willing to push itself harder for you, or your hard work in the forge has caused your wrought-iron goods to come out sturdier and more valuable. But your life pool increasing? More arrows in the eyeball before dropping dead…? My DM told me once he’d dreamt the answer to the riddle of HP growth, but completely forgot upon waking up.

see Super Bunnyhop for atrocious exceptions to this “leveling up sorta makes sense” argument in video-games.

Maybe none of it is worth making a stink about. RPGs are all about numerics, and if the numbers didn’t get bigger and bigger over time, there’d be no rising stakes, no sense of growth nor accomplishment. But, as I belaboured above, the healthpool represents something fundamentally distinct from other stats. It is the line (sometimes a very thick sharpie-markered line, but still a boundary) between game and not-game. Maybe that should be respected and designed around more often. Even legendary heroes can die, historically, to a poisoned dart in the heel. What expertise really grants is the ability to outplay the threats to our life totals; experienced combatants move faster and more efficiently than amateurs. They extend their lifespan by evading and countering attacks, not by swallowing them. Most commonly, one extends the healthpool by straight up killing anyone who threatens it before they can deal their damage. I think adapting level-up systems around a static, monolithic health total could make the sense of achievement that accumulates in an RPG much more rewarding and holistic. Most leveling up should be forwarded to the player’s ability -- level ups should give you new tools that you must apply skilfully, in a way that effectively gives you an extra heart, rather than literally. Otherwise you have this giant meat mannequin that blunders its way through obstacles less and less delicately, disregarding painful mistakes because of the forgivenesses of a deepened healthpool. That’s hardly the symbol of mastery I think most RPGs really want to convey with their lategame. Life ought to remain precious throughout.